"All this is yours!"
"What, the curtains?"
"No, not the curtains...speaking of which, shave that thing, it's gross."
Look at this man. He stands atop a foundation built upon generations and generations of privileged white male camaraderie. Emblazoned with simple cars, like BMWs, Mustangs, and that occasional douche in the Jaguar. Impeccable lawns maintained by Pedro (your mother said he does great pool jobs).
This is our king.
He reminds me of when I was a but a stallion, with my mutton chops and argyle pants. Oh the memories. Anyway, this man has been identified as a member of the Kappa Sig's at USC, a frat notorious recently for an email "allegedly" sent by one of the members laying the law for the new kids.
The photo above is among many properly cataloguing his courting routine with this fine young woman. He must have travelled the world and become quite a scholar to know so many positions. I don't know everything he was doing, as I am no expert in the Kama Sutra. But I can imagine when he's making sweet, sweet love to her on top of that building with such a view; it doesn't matter any longer which way she gets it.
It's nicknames for body parts, color codes for each race of the rainbow (with bonus hybrid flavors!), and a base ten numerical rating system for women that reminds me of campfire conversations with the boys when we were young. Boys will be boys, right? Don't worry, i'm being dismissive and naïve, and I only know what one of those words mean.
However there is a moral to this story, beloved readers. Don't drink Natty Ice. People go stupid from it, it's science.