The Big Poppa

The Big Poppa
Welcome to the Gun Show

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Music Find of the Day

I am insanely passionate about music, specifically Electro House.  There are many genres like it, but this one is mine.  Without me, my music collection means nothing.  Without my music, I mean nothing.

Enough with the fanaticism, but you get the point.  Not that the blog will focus solely on music, but do expect some more in the future.

Today's find is by Felix Cartal, and it's absolutely driving.

Such energy, clarity, and simplicity.

Let me know what you listen to, so I can get a feeling of what you guys and gals like.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Our Brave King

"All this is yours!"
"What, the curtains?"
"No, not the curtains...speaking of which, shave that thing, it's gross."

Look at this man.  He stands atop a foundation built upon generations and generations of privileged white male camaraderie.  Emblazoned with simple cars, like BMWs, Mustangs, and that occasional douche in the Jaguar.  Impeccable lawns maintained by Pedro (your mother said he does great pool jobs).

This is our king.

He reminds me of when I was a but a stallion, with my mutton chops and argyle pants.  Oh the memories.  Anyway, this man has been identified as a member of the Kappa Sig's at USC, a frat notorious recently for an email "allegedly" sent by one of the members laying the law for the new kids.

The photo above is among many properly cataloguing his courting routine with this fine young woman.  He must have travelled the world and become quite a scholar to know so many positions.  I don't know everything he was doing, as I am no expert in the Kama Sutra.   But I can imagine when he's making sweet, sweet love to her on top of that building with such a view; it doesn't matter any longer which way she gets it.

It's nicknames for body parts, color codes for each race of the rainbow (with bonus hybrid flavors!),  and a base ten numerical rating system for women that reminds me of campfire conversations with the boys when we were young.  Boys will be boys, right?  Don't worry, i'm being dismissive and na├»ve, and I only know what one of those words mean.

However there is a moral to this story, beloved readers.  Don't drink Natty Ice.  People go stupid from it, it's science.


Much like Garfield Minus Garfield, 3eanuts is styled by removing a panel from a comic such that the pervasive and generally depressive thoughts of our own are highlighted...and that's it.

3eanuts is the site, and it's got that... I don't even know how best to describe it.  Take a few minutes to look at a few and not give a thoughtful "Hm."

Darker comedy, richer quality.  Of course it's my opinion that it's better sans-punchline, but honestly, I just read the Sunday paper yesterday and it was horrid.

Things like this remind me why we pay the big bucks to the dudes who make people cry in front of a camera, because ultimately we want to know that someone else in the world can recognize the dark parts we get so possessive over.  Being able to make fun of those parts is the tricky part, and with the final joke omitted it's much more difficult to screw up what starts off as damn good commentary on life.   Give 3eanuts a follow and two minutes an update.  Let it do something more than fill space in shitty newspapers.

Also, again like GmG, it's an idea based off a popular and massive collection of comics.  Worry not about it running out any time soon.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Men Being Men

I am not a baby.  I am a man.  I am an Anchorman.  But most importantly, I know what a man is.  A man is a man, and men is what I know, because i'm a man.  There are many things that make men men, but I don't have the time before my evening scotch to go over everything.  So i'll let someone else do it.

Here is what AskMen say about the top ten fake people who do what Ron Burgundy does best.

Smoke fine cigars, drink fine scotch, and bed fine women; all while pitching a no-hitter, driving fancy cars, and saving the world in a suit.  Just another day in San Diego.

Obviously if they were talking about Non-Fiction Playboys, yours truly would have been asked for a brief quote to be put next to the Numero One slot.  Ron Burgundy does not take well to losing, and if you're not first, you're last.  Especially if it's to those Channel 4 dirtbags.

You stay classy.


Hello readers.  Welcome.  I am not Ron Burgundy.

However, there will be many leather-bound links, the blog will always smell of rich mahogany, and should you eat an entire wheel of cheese, I won't even be mad.  That's amazing.

You stay classy, Planet Internet.