The Big Poppa

The Big Poppa
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Friday, April 1, 2011

Furry Tractors

Good morning, i'm Ron Burgundy, and we've really got something special for you today.

Planet Earth is home to many great things.  Good poetry, a glass of scotch, and of course, women.  Women make the world turn around.

I'm just joshing you, of course they don't.

But for a week out of every month, they can make your world turn upside down in a whirly dervish tornado, like one of those little cyclones in a bottle.  Of course we shouldn't make fun of their disease, but there are places to get more information about your special lady's cycles.

To understand how best to tame the ravenous, crazed, bear-ladies during their periods of crisis, this website from the internet has chosen to bear with women long enough to measure just how crazy they can get after one load of laundry, doing the dishes, or making dinner.  I've even learned a few tricks for my woman; Veronica sometimes will bite my neck at night, and instead of fighting her off as the shaggy bear I mistake her for, we make whoopie until the sun rises.  And then she makes breakfast.

What do women have in common with bears?  Well, the grizzlies below- I mean only men shave, maybe some day it'll catch on with women.  No point here, women just have things in common with bears.  Along with that, Brick tells me that "bears can smell menstruation".  Now,  I don't know what that means, but it sounds bad.

Well, that's all we have for now.  Make sure to check out the website, and let me know what you think in the comments below.

I'm Ron Burgundy, and you stay classy, Planet Internet.

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